"...and maybe, in the eternal realm, a fool."

This sermon kicked my butt. Matt Chandler has a tendency to do that, but still. Wow. I plan on spending some time to reflect on the words that he says here, especially his conclusion. Am I in this because of me? Am I pursuing ministry because it's my "niche"? Do I only pray in public? Am I defining success in ministry by Western standards? Or am I doing this because Jesus has been, is, and always will be enough? Tough questions, and ones I need to ask myself daily. Thanks, Matt, for this message to me. It was a wake-up call.
Here's the site where you can listen to his message. It was given at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary's chapel on November 12th. Enjoy...if that's the right word.

Physical Pain - Yes, I'm Serious

There are times when hearing something like this acutally causes me physical pain. My dad knows what I'm talking about.



This is too funny. Enjoy!

The Martin - Yes, It's Time

I'm inspired by my roommate Nathan Gammie to blog more regularly and concisely - so here's a stab at a quick description of one of my favorite things.
For those of you who don't know, a Martin is a guitar, a very well made guitar that consistently blows me away with great sound. While I will acknowledge the greatness and beauty of the sounds emitted by a Taylor guitar (see second post down - btw this is my bro's blog..HILARIOUS), I must say that I love love love my Martin. The coolest part is the story behind how I got it. So I'll dedicate the post to that.
My grandfather, mentioned in an earlier post (legit dude, let me tell you), is the original owner of said instrument. Every year our family gets together for "Camp Meeting" (future post...), and for a few years he loaned me this "axe" for porch playing and such. I always loved playing it and expressed this to him several times. One year, I think it was the summer after my freshman year of college, I had been enjoying it and rocking out all week. It was Monday morning, and we were packing up to leave. I took the guitar back over to him and thanked him for loaning it to me for the week, then returned to our cabin to continue with cleaning duties.
A few minutes later, I see his wiry thin frame walking over to the cabin from inside my room. He's carrying the guitar. I'm thinking, no stinkin way. So, I came outside and told him, no, no, you can't be serious. He laughed as only he can (you have to hear it), looks back at me and says, "Yes, I can." He sets the guitar down on the porch, gives a mondo (that's huge) hug, and walks back over to his cabin. That's right - my grandfather gave me a guitar worth prolly 2 grand. He didn't play it enough, and knew I would. So thankful for him!
Lesson to be learned? Hold what you have with an open hand and be willing to share with others; this is just one example of the enormous generosity my grandparents have shown me and they have been such an example to me of how to handle money and other possessions. Praise God for the grace He has shown them and me in this way! It's times like these when I think it's important to remember that Christ is our ultimate example, as Paul says in 2 Corinthians 8:9; "For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich." Thanks for demonstrating this well by God's grace, Papaw!

Stars and Bars vs. The Hammer and Sickle

Woah-ho-ho, now THERE is a provocative title. Stepping into the realm of controversy, we are, mmmhmhmhm.
Why is one ok to display and the other is not? This reality hit me the other day when I was walking across campus and saw a student with a red shirt and the hammer and sickle prominently displayed across his chest. I thought to myself, man, I wonder what would happen if someone wore a shirt that had the stars and bars and that was it.
Now, I'm not going to assume that there would be an uproar - it might not be a huge deal. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized there really is a double standard when it comes to these two symbols. Hence, a post.
A while ago, I wouldn't have had too many qualms about having the stars and bars somewhere in my possesion - not saying I would fly the flag, but the symbol was on a few things that I owned. I have since come to realize through conversations and my own thinking that I disagree with it being displayed, and here's why. There comes a point when an image cannot be divorced from things that came as a part of it. A great example of this is the swastika. It will forevermore be the symbol of the Nazi party in Germany during the 1930s-40s, regardless of how many historians remind us that it was originally something else. While not to that degree, I do think it's fair to say that the stars and bars hold that same kind of symbolism as it relates to slavery. The flag, whether we (wannabe) Southerners like it or not, does represent a group that supported the institution of slavery and fought a war to preserve their right to own slaves. (Yes, there were more issues involved in the fighting of the Civil War, but this post isn't about that topic) So, by displaying that flag, it's not completely illogical for people to assume that we could stand for that kind of thinking. I personally don't think that's all the flag stands for - but the point is that for the majority of people and for my African-American brothers and sisters it DOES connote support of slavery. It is for THEIR sake, therefore, that I don't fly it or wear it. (I think this is part of what Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 8-10; check it out!) It does nothing but divide and separate me from people (both in and out of the Church), not something I want to do in a first impression situation.
But, what bothers me about our society is that wearing a similarly powerful symbol seems to be "cool" and "hip" nowadays. I really wonder if some students and others that wear this symbol know the full extent of communism. Yes yes, you can argue that communism in it's purest form has never existed (and I agree!) - but the fact is that the symbol doesn't stand for pure communism. It's been a part of the manifestation of communism expressed through the 20th century in China and the USSR to name the most prominent examples. During this century, communist dictators such as Stalin and Mao combined with other regimes to kill 100 million people. You read that right - 16 times the number of Jews that Hitler and the Nazi's killed. (65 million deaths in China ALONE.) I haven't seen numbers on the impact of slavery in the United States, but I'd wager it's around the same number. Even if it isn't though, is this a movement that anyone should support? I guess I'm just confused on why it's cool to wear the image worn by The Red Guards who, during the Cultural Revolution, persecuted my brothers and sisters in Christ by killing and imprisoning them soley for their confession of faith. Doesn't seem to line up in my mind.
Like stars and bars, I think this is an issue of considering other people around you. Especially in our increasingly "global" society, there is a good chance there are people living in your community that have experienced the horror of communist regimes, many of them directly. That's not something you can say about modern-day African-Americans and slavery. But again, that's not even the point. The point is, the hammer and sickle stand for governments that have enslaved and murdered millions of people - and that's not cool or hip. More importantly, for my Christian brothers and sisters out there, that symbol stands for something that has done everything in its power to HINDER the spread of the Gospel to all nations! This is not a joking matter, that's a serious fact to consider.
So, before we buy our next article of clothing with a symbol, let us all consider what that symbol means - and not just what WE think it means. We need to consider what the symbol does for our relationship with others. Does it encourage or discourage relationship? Does it needlessly divide? Could someone impacted by the negative effects of this symbol be hurt by me wearing this? These are important questions, and ones I hope my generation will more carefully consider before donning the hammer and sickle.

Determination...no, this post is not about election

It's more about my determination to post stuff more often!
So, here's something for fun. My roommate Ted sent me this link the other day, and I literally laughed out loud while reading it. There are some great selections, and I also really love the names that they give these Biblical characters; I think Joseph's is the best as "Go-Go-Go Me." If you don't understand that, it's ok, I didn't until only recently.
Here is the link to the page I'm talking about. Enjoy!

A Presence I Haven't Felt Since (Phooo-heeeeee)

That's my attempt at making the Darth Vadar sound in words. Fail or no fail?

Regardless, the title refers to me on this blog! February? Seriously, Cole? Here's the problem - I have no time. But I need to make time. So here's an attempt at a post.

I've been reflecting lately on the past year, things I've learned and things I'm still learning. That's one thing about living in Wheaton, you're always analyzing things (whether this is good or bad is up for debate. I'm leaning bad, but there are good aspects.) So, here are two of them, and I hope you find them edifying.

First, I am really insecure. This week especially I see how I can read WAY too much into situations and interpret them very negatively. I really hate this aspect of my character, but to be honest for the first time in a while I feel this resolve to kick it in the teeth with the Gospel. I'm getting to the point where when an idea comes into my head, I can say "Cole, that is completely absurd, and you have no business even considering such a ridiculous idea." Now, I still have room to grow, but I'd like be thankful to God for working in my life in this way. An evidence of grace over the past year for sure.

Second, I am much better musician today than I was two years ago. Now, before you jump your guns to point out my pride, let me finish. Two years ago I was a senior at Wheaton (nuts...time flies) and hardly ever played the good old Martin (which could have it's own post someday...) in church. I slowly got into it, and now feel very confident in leading worship in CG on a Sunday morning. Now, this isn't a testimony to my "work ethic" or anything that I did, but rather me allowing God to use me with what I can only guess is a natural ability and love for music. I used to frustrate my dad all the time when I was in his class, because I never practiced. He used to tell me that if I practiced as much as he did, I'd be like 10x better. Well, thanks for passing on the talent, mom and dad. And praise the Lord for this desire he has placed in my heart to play and the immense privilege of playing music in His church. Soli Deo Gloria!

Third, I've realized that I am more of a perfectionist than I really thought. My theory on this is that most people would never confess that they are perfectionists, but that many of these people just do things pretty well and don't have to struggle with it. In the past year, I've seen how I really stink at a lot of things I thought I would be "good" at, and let me tell you it is humbling. I realize how frustrated and crippled I become when I make mistakes that I think I shouldn't be making. And this is really an issue of insecurity and a lack of trust that God is going to do His work in my life. So, this year I've learned a bit (still learning...a lot) about rolling with the punches, being ok with failure at some things, but still striving to be excellent as the apostle Paul commends in Philippians 1:10.

Fourth (and final, sorry), the Lord has worked in incredible ways to draw my heart toward world missions. Unlike any other time in my life, I sense the immense need for American Christians to go or actively (!) send to the nations that are perishing with Christ. This is a work of God, who has placed a few key things in my life to get me on board. First, I have seen more clearly than ever the emptiness of the "social gospel," people who go abroad (or stay) to relieve ONLY (and that's a VERY important word) the physical suffering of others or "save the globe" by "being green." It is no less than a religion of works, a legalism of sorts that creates a sense of justification based on something other than Christ, and it is rampant in my country today. Being green WILL NOT save anyone from eternal punishment. Yes, it is important to consider our effect on the environment, but this is an outflow of our salvation in Christ, not a means to it or something that will save others. (read Titus 3 on this point, it says it better than I have here.) Second, God has given me wonderful, amazing, incredible friends that have chosen to leave and do missions. When you know someone well and they leave, you better understand how the apostle Paul felt about the Ephesian elders as he left them, for the Philippians in his absence, for the Corinthians who were doubting him. And it drives you to your knees, which is something I cannot do too much. These friends have also challenged me to think about global missions and its importance, and for that I am very grateful. Again, I say, all glory to God who has done this great thing in my life!

So there. A post. Let's hope it's not the last for 7 months. I need to remember to keep it short and do more posts, right? Right.

Integrity - The Failure of My Generation?

Alright, enough silliness. This blog needs to take a serious turn for at least one post, so let's get to it.

Integrity. Something we might not think about a lot, but something that greatly impacts our day to day living, whether we like it or not. Personally, I didn't think about it that much, but in the past few years the importance of living with integrity has been a bigger theme. It's something I have noticed more and more in those around me, and something I have come to realize is very important. Sadly, I think my generation in general has a disregard for integrity, and doesn't appear to think it has any value. Even more sad is that I have seen this both in my non-Christian and Christian friends. So, a few stories and why I think they matter. Then we can let the discush begin in the comment section; I'm eager to hear your thoughts.

Another track story: my track coach here at Wheaton came to practice one day, and you could tell something just wasn't right. Coach has a way of giving non-verbal hints, maybe it's just that we got to where we could read him well. Regardless, after warm-up and stretching, Coach pulled us in, and you could just tell we were gonna get a talking to, it was in his eyes and his tone of voice. Coach proceeds to give us a speech about the importance of integrity, how if we say we're going to do something we need to follow through with it. There was fire in his voice, you tell he was upset about something. Now, Coach didn't tell us what it was specifically, but I heard (and partially insinuated) through the grapevine that this incident came as a result of a recruit telling coach they were coming to Wheaton and then going back on that commitment. Now, if you know coach, you know he really doesn't get mad that often and he even when he does he doesn't do it like most people. But let me tell you, the man was mad about this, spittin mad.

So, was coach right to be angry about it? I think so, and to be honest, I'll never forget that speech, because it made me really think about integrity and what it means to live with it. There are tough decisions in life, one of them of course is choosing what school you will attend for your college education. The principle is good though - if you give your word to something, it had better be because you've thought it through and at least considered that you might be faced with a tough decision that might make you reconsider.

I think this may be the reason many of us struggle with integrity (and if I haven't said so already, I too make mistakes with my integrity, and by no means am I claiming perfection in this blog post). It is hard, because we're often faced to make the difficult and uncomfortable choice instead of the easy and comfortable one. This idea just runs in the face of everything our society tells us is right. We need to be nice, need to be polite, need not to step on anyone's toes or offend anyone. And those are all good things! But not at the cost of us being true to our word, because when we aren't, we're being rude, impolite, stepping on toes and offending other people.

Another huge issue of integrity is the Community Covenant at Wheaton, formerly known as the pledge. It is a complete mystery to me how so many students get to the end of their career and admit they have never read the Community Covenant or openly confess that they have no problem breaking it on a regular basis by drinking. Now, please understand, I'm not a person who hates people who drink; I love, I mean LOVE, a good dark rum, a well brewed beer, and the like. My problem isn't with people drinking, it's with people who say they want to be a part of a community that has agreed to abstain from that during their college years (4 years of your life...seriously, not that long) but then completely go back on that word. They check the box that says, "I agree to this Community Covenant" EVERY semester they register for classes. I don't get it, and I think it's a real issue for our generation.

The heart of it, I think, is really selfishness. In the case of this recruit that backed out on coach, they decided that they didn't think it was a good idea to come to Wheaton in the end, even though coach explained clearly to them the ramifications of them making this commitment. The people who willingly break the Covenant at Wheaton do so because they think that some parts of it are ridiculous. And, to make an attempt at being vulnerable, I am often tempted to go back on a commitment because I think something is hard, or have second thoughts about things.

So what's the cure to this problem? I think that my generation needs to take a harder look at the commitments we make, considering the witness that it has to the world when we go back on them and lack integrity as many do. I think it's funny that in our society we have cliches like the used car salesman and the corporate CEO who we despise because they lack integrity and honesty, when really most of us are no different from them. Our decisions just affect less people (or at least that's what we tell ourselves) so somehow that's ok. I think that a big part of our witness to the world is having the guts to make commitments and stick with them.

In that vein, let me close with another story. My grandfather Alfred Means is a great example of this kind of witness. You talk about integrity - the man has lost literally thousands of dollars because he did not want to go back on his word. People have cheated him, but that hasn't shaken his character, he refused to sink to their level. And I tell you this, people trust him and will do business with him because of this reputation. The greatest part of it all is that if you asked him about it, he wouldn't talk about it like it was him. He'd point to the cross, and tell you about the presence of Jesus Christ in his life has transformed it. My hope is that I and the rest of my generation can look at men like Papaw and be challenged to live with integrity, using it as an opportunity to bear witness to Christ.

Day Themes - Keeping Life Interesting

One of the things I love is tradition. Ok that's broad. I like traditionS, more specifically, traditions that are fun and carry on things of old. I think this is one reason I love camp. All the traditions and cheers and stuff is something I just eat up, and love doing. It's also a reason I am somewhat sad I didn't go to bigger school for my college education. Now, I love Wheaton, and I am so glad I came, but Wheaton is NOT "ra ra, traditon, ra ra." In fact, it approaches being the opposite. This was a struggle for me at times, because of my love for these type of things. I found outlets, however, and that helped.

One such outlet has been the development of what I call "theme days." This post is going to be a history of these theme days, from their inception to present day. Don't worry, it isn't a long history, so it shouldn't take long to read.

It all started in my sophmore year at Wheaton. I was headed to another glorious day of Wednesday fall workouts for track, which, at this point in time (things later changed...much harder), was Ultimate Frisbee Day. (Quick aside...for anyone reading this wondering why Ultimate is so popular at college, I don't quite get it either.) As I came around the west end of the stadium, bearing down for another day of fierce competition, I see Adam Smith (no, not the economist) coming towards me with Mike Trager. As I recall, Adam had a pink piece of construction tape wrapped around his head. Now, you have to understand, this wasn't THAT out of the ordinary for Adam, but still I wondered, "why?" (I've since learned that the better question is "why not?") Once I inquired, Trager jumped in and said, "On Wednesdays we wear pink." This was, of course, a reference to the movie Mean Girls, a movie starring Lindsay Lohan as the new girl in a public school that is pretty crazy, but also very true (from what I hear, I went to a private school...). Anyway, she joins this group of girls known as "the Plastics," who have some day themes of their own, which revolve around clothes. Karen, the (dumb) blonde of the group explains to our hero "On Wednesdays we wear pink!"

Being the enthusiastic sophomore that I was, I had a desire to stick to a theme on the team and in life. So, starting shortly after that, I began Pink Wednesdays. And, to this day, I wear pink every Wednesday. Now, I know what you're thinking. "Surely, there's no way you wear pink every Wednesday." Well you would be wrong. With very very few exceptions, I'm talking single digits, going on three years...every Wednesday. And don't call me Shirley.

So I had one day with a theme. I had other less consistent traditions sophmore year, some of them not worth explaining here. Fast forward to summer after my sophomore year, when I worked at Kanakuk Kamp in Missouri. Great place, great traditions, great fun. There I continued Pink Wednesdays with my pink bandana and the occasional pink shirt. While at K-Klassic, though, I picked up a day theme known as REAANTTOG. This stands for Random Encouraging And Affirming Note To The Opposite Gender, which took place on Thursday. What a great idea, I thought. Great way to encourage, one of my favorite things to do. So I started this day theme when I got back to school later that fall. Granted, I was less consistent with this one, didn't get as many days in as I would have liked. This is was partially due to strong criticism from some as to the gender-bias in the event. Psh, come up with your own idea!

Ok fast forward again to senior year. I really wanted to get more days in there! At the start of the year, Monday was Funday Monday, with 45 minutes of required fun. This typically involved a couple games of Mario Kart with the roommates or by myself. Tuesday, early in the year, became Polo Tuesday. My then roommate Mark Cragg and I were shopping at Target and we came across these great polos for $8. Can't pass that up right? But we couldn't decide on a color, so we chose our top two favorites and decided to share them. This worked out better for Mark than for me, because if you know Mark you know he's a big dude. The guy can pump the iron. So, me putting on a shirt that he wears takes me back to the 90's when it was cool to wear stuff 2x your size. Anyway, I'm really not bitter about it, because it gave me a theme for Tuesday! Friday because verse day, and I committed to working on scripture memory and having that day be recitation day. This also didn't work out as well, as I couldn't find a consistent partner for memorization. If anyone is interested, I'm still looking...

So, the week was complete...or was it? Our annual College Group Christmas party changed everything. We had a limerick contest, which inspired a new day theme for Monday, replacing Funday Monday. (Maybe replacing isn't the right word...kinda like Replacement Theology, but less important). I wrote a fair number of limericks in that time, some of them were pretty good and mostly about my friends. But, I became very inconsistent in this day. Also, once I started working at the Alumni Relations Office, Polo Tuesday had to be replaced (there I go again) with Orange and Blue Tuesday, a welcome change which matched the change in wardrobe required for my duties at Westgate.

We've now come to today, when a few new day themes are going to be announced. I know, you're just on the edge of your seat! What will stay? What will go? What will change? To quote Samuel L. Jackson from Jurassic Park, "Hold onto your butts."

Henceforth, Monday will be known as Metaphor Monday. This was an idea that came principally from my roommate David Jordan. We are constantly updating our stati on g-chat, trying to be witty and start a trend among our friends. One day last week, Slim decided to make a profound metaphor for what ever mundane task he was diligently completing at his job. This inspired him, and he asked if we could make this activity a day theme. We welcomed in Metaphor Monday yesterday, and were reminded of the close similarity of a metaphor and a simile by a certain Ms. Stam. But, it's METAPHOR Monday, so we'll have to watch ourselves.

Also henceforth, Friday will be known as Future Friday. On Future Friday's participants are encouraged to make a prediction of something that will happen in the future. It could be far, it could be short, but the point is to make it fun. For example, (I am going to jump the gun and reveal my prediction for this Friday) I could say that the Notre Dame football team, despite a downward spiral the past few years, will recover to win the national championship in 2012. As my brother might say, BOLD. But that's the point of Future Fridays. Assert something with confidence, and then see if it comes true. There is no betting on Future Friday predictions - this is purely for fun!

So there you have it. Day Themes are something that make my weeks much more fun, exciting, and spice things up a little bit. I'm also able to pass the tradition on to many others, including my coworkers (wherever I work...), which brings me joy because I love participating in things with people. So, participate...or don't. But I'd really love it if you did.

Happy Pink Wednesday,
Cole

Re-Entry into the Blogging Realm

I think re-entry is a good way to describe this moment, because I feel like a spaceship coming back to Earth from outer space. I'm apprehensive to come back, mainly because of the dismal failure my previous blog, and because I'm self-conscious and know that anyone can read this. But, I'll try and keep it orthodox, and trust that I will use this in a good way...but wow I feel the burn!

So why blog? Well, I think blogging is a good way to process things that are going on in your life. It's a way to express yourself about any number of topics you encounter, but here's the catch: this is a public way of doing it. Perhaps this is why I'm apprehensive: I honestly don't like just putting myself out there all the time, as nice as it is when that works out well for you. I can't say this is humility, because it's likely more like a kind of false humility that is really insecurity and a desire for people to think well of you.

That's the reason I want to blog. I'd like to work through some of that insecurity I see in myself. I'd like to write some movie reviews, express some thoughts on what I'm hearing in church on Sunday, journal about stuff I'm going through in life, comment on the political landscape from time to time, and also have some fun (this won't be one of those uber-serious blogs all the time, trust me). I want, and you can quote me on this, to interact with you, my readers about these things and to learn from you. I do this to become a person that values intellectual interaction, but also one that values truth and it's impact on our lives in this in-between time we share on Earth. So please, comment, rant, rail...but be nice. I'd appreciate it!

I hope you enjoy this blog. And if you have suggestions for things I should write on, I'm all ears!

Bye for now,
Cole